Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
