why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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