Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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