I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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