If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My nipple is on Facebook.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He shit in the fireplace
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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