Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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