i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
