dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
