Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
