my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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