I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
