Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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