Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
