I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
