Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
