i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
should my penis look like a turkey
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
