but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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