He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
