oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
