im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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