i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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