please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Randomize
