Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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