If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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