why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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