I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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