hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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