my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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