she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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