She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
