Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
