I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
