I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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