things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
