tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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