So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
