I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
