It's Friday. Sex?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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