why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just gift wrapped bread.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
