Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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