he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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