Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
