New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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