My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
