Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
