I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
