Well apparently he's into motor boating.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
