dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
