Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
