it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
