Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
