how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
