ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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